(^) Good communication is expensive in other areas. The stamina and
spiritual energy that searching conversation requires often seems
overwhelming. Parents sometimes miss valuable opportunities
because they feel too tired to follow through.
(^) We began to experience this physical dimension very clearly when
our children became teens. We had been in the habit of putting little
ones to bed in the early evening. This gave us time for conversation.
But with teens came later nights. I am not sure why, but many times
the greatest opportunities for communication came late at night. The
wise parent talks when the kids are ready to talk!
(^) Proper communication requires mental stamina. You must keep
your thoughts focused. You must avoid the temptations to chase
unimportant matters. Questions that have not been answered must be
posed in new and fresh ways.
(^) You must bring integrity to your interaction with your children.
You model the dynamics of the Christian life for your children. You
must let them see sonship with the Father in you. You should show
them repentance. Acknowledge your joys and fears and how you find
comfort in God. Live a shared life of repentance and thankfulness.
Acknowledge your own sin and weakness. Admit when you are
wrong. Be prepared to seek forgiveness for sinning against your
children. The right to make searching and honest appraisal of your
children lies in willingness to do the same for yourself.
(^) Recently, a father of three children recounted a situation in which
he had sinned against his son. He had spoken cruelly and struck his
son in an abusive way. He seemed very broken over his sin. When I
asked what his son said when he sought forgiveness, he acknowledged
that he had not sought his son’s forgiveness. This dad will never have
open communication with his son until he is willing to humble
himself and acknowledge his own sin. If he won’t do that, the attempt
to talk about the things of God is a sham.
barré
(Barré)
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