before him the blessings of living under God’s protective care. You
have spoken of the chief end of man: “Glorifying God and enjoying
him forever.” You have warned him about the dangers of not loving
and trusting God. In the natural credulity of childhood, he has
accepted what you have told him.
(^) In his teen years, he is receiving new input. He has a growing
realization of his own sin and brokenness. He has accepted the
standards he has been taught. Now, in his growing self-awareness, he
is confronted with his inability to do what he ought to do. He has not
become worse than he has been all his life, he is simply more self-
conscious of his weakness and need.
(^) He is also confronted with a growing realization that everybody
does not believe as he has been taught. He reads books, hears, and
learns things that challenge everything he has been taught to believe.
(^) Your task as a parent is to shepherd and nurture his interaction
with the gospel. What will enable you to have access to this teen who
is growing into an adult?
Developing a Shepherding Relationship with Teens
(^) I am assuming that you have successfully dealt with the first two
stages of your child’s development, and that the Holy Spirit has
worked through those means, so that your role is not remedial, but
directive. You have established your role and right to be involved in
your child’s life. That is simply an aspect of the agency you exercise
as a parent under God. Your son or daughter already recognizes your
authority.
(^) If your authority over your teen is not established, you must take
the time to seek God and work back through your life with your teen.
Confess, rethink, and establish your authority and your son or
daughter’s responsibility based on God’s Word to both of you. There
is no shortcut to your right as their shepherd or your teen desiring to
be shepherded. The only route to those things is repentance and faith.