moves toward the child in love and gentle rebuke. It embraces and
accepts. It urges the child to accept correction as a wise person. It
doesn’t make the child feel like a fool. Personal indignities must not
be the condition upon which we rebuke our children.
(^) As a parent seeking to shepherd, you want to influence your child
to respond to things that are reasonable, drawn from insight into
human character based on Scripture. You are seeking to influence and
provide counsel. You can accomplish nothing of lasting value simply
by being an authority. You must seek to counsel and influence.
(^) My 16-year-old son came in late one afternoon. It had been a day
off from school because of a heavy snowfall.
(^) Son: “Dad, can I go sledding for a couple of hours with the
neighbors?”
Father: “Well, son, you have been gone for several hours and
there is a project in your room that you need to complete.”
Son: “I thought I would do that later. I can do that in the dark,
but I can’t sled in the dark.”
Father: “I am concerned about something. I see this project in
your room as something that you began to do several weeks
ago and have not completed. That concerns me, because I
think you leave projects incomplete more often that you
should. You have a great attitude toward anything your
Mother or I ask you to do, but the long-term tasks that
require you to pace yourself through them seem to be hard
for you to do.”
Son: “I’m too busy. By the time I get done with school and
wrestling practice, there isn’t time to get to it.”
Father: “Well, I know you are busy, but today is a free day and
you didn’t get to it. I don’t think that is good for you. I
would like to see you overcome your aversion to long-term
tasks. I’m just concerned about you, son.”
Son: “I can accept what you are saying, Dad, but I think I could