Viewed from one perspective, some might say this is successful
parenting. This mother was confronted with a demanding,
unreasonable child. She was able within a few minutes to change her
daughter’s behavior. From another perspective, all would agree that
the mother’s method was wrong. While she was able to change her
daughter’s behavior, she did so at a powerful cost. The cure was
worse than the disease.
(^) We cannot be indifferent to methodology. Biblically, the method
is as important as the objectives. God speaks to both issues. He is
concerned not only with what we do, but also with how we do it.
(^) Our culture does not provide us with biblical models. Here, as in
the area of goals, we must identify and reject the non-biblical
approaches that vie for our attention. Biblical goals require a biblical
approach—only godly methodology will bring glory to God.
Unbiblical Methods
(^) Unbiblical approaches come to us in many ways. Books and
magazines regularly address childrearing. There is always a market
for approaches that promise some hope of success. Talk-TV programs
bring on experts. Sometimes we just fall back on the familiar patterns
by which we were raised.
(^) Various approaches have one thing in common: The human mind
is the standard. It may be our own mind—“There is nothing wrong
with what my father did ... ” It may be the mind of others—“Dr. ‘So
& So’ on talk-radio advocated this and it sounds good to me ...” Faith
in the human mind as a sufficient reference point for itself is implicit
in each of these examples.
(^) Let’s identify the prevalent methods.
I Didn’t Turn Out So Bad
(^) Sadly, many parents have not thought through methodology. They
just get mad and yell. When they have “had it up to here,” they