The Whole-Brain Child

homework, even though school usually comes fairly easily to her.
Unless she integrates her feelings of frustration and inadequacy
with the other parts of herself—realizing that one emotion is just a
part of a larger whole of who she is—she might begin to look at
this momentary state as a more permanent trait or characteristic of
her personality. She might say something like, “I’m so stupid.
Homework is too hard for me. I’ll never get it right.”
But if her parents can help her integrate the many parts of
herself, recognizing the various rim points on her wheel, she can
avoid identifying solely with this one particular feeling in this one
particular moment. She can develop the mindsight to realize that
she’s frustrated about struggling in this moment, but it doesn’t
mean that she’s dumb or that she’ll always have trouble. From the
hub of her mind, she can notice various rim points and realize that
even though she’s struggling at the moment, she has demonstrated
in the past that she can usually handle homework without this
much trouble. She might even use some healthy self-talk, saying to
herself, “I hate this homework! It’s driving me crazy! But I know
I’m smart. It’s just that this assignment is really hard.” The simple
act of acknowledging diʃerent points along the rim can take her a
long way toward gaining control and shifting her negative feelings.
She may still feel dumb, but with her parents’ help and with some
practice, she’ll be able to avoid seeing that temporary state as a
permanent, self-defining trait.
This is one of the best things the wheel of awareness does: it
teaches kids that they have choices about what they focus on and
where they place their attention. It gives them a tool that lets them
integrate the diʃerent parts of themselves, so they aren’t held
hostage by one negative constellation of feelings or thoughts
clamoring for their attention. When children (and adults, for that
matter) can develop this type of mindsight, they become
empowered to make choices that allow them to manage their