The Whole-Brain Child

classroom experience, but watch for ways to explicitly connect
what you’re doing to the concept of receptivity. Spontaneity and
creativity are important abilities, and novelty also gets dopamine
going.
The fun-factor principle also applies to the experiences you give
your kids as siblings. Recent studies have found that the best
predictor for good sibling relationships later in life is how much
fun the kids have together when they’re young. The rate of conɻict
can even be high, as long as there’s plenty of fun to balance it out.
The real danger comes when the siblings just ignore each other.
There may be less tension to deal with, but that’s also a recipe for
a cold and distant relationship as adults.
So if you want to develop close long-term relationships between
your kids, think of it as a math equation, where the amount of
enjoyment they share together should be greater than the conɻict
they experience. You’re never going to get the conɻict side of the
equation to zero. Siblings argue; they just do. But if you can
increase the other side of the equation, giving them activities that
produce positive emotions and memories, you’ll create strong
bonds between them and set up a relationship that has a good
chance of remaining solid for life.
Some sibling fun will occur naturally, but you can help it along,
too. Break out a new box of sidewalk chalk and have them create a
crazy new monster together. Let them use the video camera to
make a movie. Have them team up together for a surprise project
to give to a grandparent. However you do it—family bike rides,
board games, making cookies, teaming up against Mom with the
water guns, whatever—ɹnd ways to help your kids have fun
together and strengthen the bonds that connect them.
You can also use fun, and even silliness, to shift your children’s
state of mind when they become stuck in an angry or deɹant state.
Sometimes they won’t be in the mood to have you act silly or