The Conscious Parent

Television and computers often serve not only as a band aid whenever
children feel bored or upset, but as a replacement for relationships. Used
in this way, they rob our children of the opportunity to learn how to sit
with their emotions and navigate their feelings themselves. As the child
becomes buried in the noise of the program or game, its emotions are
blunted. Television or the computer soon become an obsession, so that
our children want them to be on at all times, in their numbness feeling
strangely comforted by the presence of a screen.
Another step we can take is to exchange purchases for experiences.
Instead of buying a gadget, we take our children to the zoo. Instead of
buying a video game, we accompany them on a bicycle ride. Rather than
buying them a fancy car on their eighteenth birthday, we send them on a
trip to a Third World country, where they have to earn the money for a
car.
Our children first and foremost need us to give them our attention, not
our money. The gift of our attention is so much more valuable than
anything money can buy. If from a young age our children are taught to
value our relationship with them over the things we buy them, we set the
stage for a reliance on their inner being rather than externals. A human
will always choose relationships over gadgets or other possessions,
provided we haven’t corrupted their natural instinct.
On weekends, my daughter is allowed an hour of television or an hour
on the computer. One Sunday, since my husband and I were both at
home, we decided to play a board game together. As the game proceeded,
I realized it was going to take longer than I had anticipated, which meant
it would be bedtime before my daughter could enjoy her hour on the