immaturity, or with full understanding and hence in outright defiance?
Is my child able to master the task before them, or is it beyond their
capability?
Does my child require a higher level response from me because they
are at a higher developmental level?If your child is acting out because of a lack of judgment due to
immaturity, you immediately begin to operate from a different place.
Instead of filling the role of disciplinarian, you take up the role of
educator. Rigidity, where “your way or the highway” is in operation, is
replaced by a concern for what your child needs at this particular
moment.DO YOU OWN YOUR PART IN YOUR CHILDREN’S
BEHAVIOR?
If your child acts out as a form of outright defiance, or if they are acting
out on a regular basis, you need to accept accountability for your role in
the perpetuation of their behavior. Children are defiant because they are
accustomed to getting away with it. True, some children are
temperamentally more willful, but it’s through their relationship with us
that they have transformed this willfulness into defiance. Unless you
realize this, you will begin to believe that your child is “bad.”
When your five-year-old pitches a fit, you stop their behavior in its
tracks and teach them alternative ways of handling what they are feeling.
When they stick their tongue out at you at six, you don’t ignore it but