Although the manner in which ego manifests is different in each
person, there are common patterns the ego follows on its path toward
self-entrapment—several universal ego styles. It’s helpful to have a clear
picture of how each of these functions.THE EGO OF IMAGE
When a young mother received a phone call from the principal’s office
informing her that her nine-year-old son was in a fight with another boy,
she was devastated. Unable to believe her precious son had become one
of “those” children, she felt ashamed and flustered. What to do? How to
respond?
Becoming defensive, this mother found herself blaming anyone and
everyone. She argued with the principal, the teachers, the parents of the
other boy, insisting that her son had been wrongly accused. She wrote
letters to the district superintendent about how her son had been blamed
unjustly.
Without her realizing, this mother’s ego made this incident all about
her, as if it were her competence that was in question. Unable to separate
herself from her son’s behavior enough to see it for what it was, she blew
things out of proportion. It was as if she had been personally attacked—
as if she were the one being called into the principal’s office and
reprimanded for not being a good parent. The upshot was that instead of
this nine-year-old experiencing the natural consequences of his actions,
from which he might have learned, he felt guilt and embarrassment over
the way his mother acted.
Many of us fall into the trap of allowing our sense of worth to become