7

The Recipe for Success:

Empathy with Consequences

My  child,  if  your    heart   is  wise,

my  heart   too will    be  glad.

Proverbs    23:15

When Jim’s kids were young, he had a problem with them going to bed

on time. If he had a dollar for every time he shouted at his kids, “You
guys get in that bed right now and go to sleep!” he’d be relaxing at his
summer home in the Bahamas. As a concerned parent, he knew that lack
of sleep would make the next day miserable for his kids. They’d drag
around, unable to think clearly or perform well at school. Why, they
might even fall asleep at their desks! That seemed too high a price for his
kids to pay, so he kept badgering them to go to sleep on time and
threatening to spank them, take away television privileges, or take them
out of sports.
One day a great truth of parenting was revealed to him: You can’t make
a child go to sleep. So he marched upstairs, called his kids together, and
said, “Kids, I’ve got to apologize. I’ve been meddling in your life. I’ve
been trying to tell you things you should be deciding on your own. So if
you can remember two simple little rules, I’ll never hassle you again
about going to sleep. Think you can handle that?”