through modeling and choices. Using thinking words instead of fighting
words is helpful. Instead of saying, “You eat that, and you eat all of it,”
or, “I want that plate clean before you leave this table,” the Love and
Logic parent says, “Have you had enough to make it to the next meal? I
hope so, but you decide.”
Kids should be deciding how much they’re going to eat. As they grow
older, we won’t be in a position to control what they put into their
mouths, so the wise parent will ready them for the real world by allowing
them to make decisions early.
To introduce new meals, we may want to take a page from Gina’s
cookbook. Gina never had any problem getting her kids to eat what she
wanted them to eat. Her recipe for success: Whenever she cooked
anything new and different, she made only enough for two: her and her
husband. The kids got hot dogs. Then the two adults lapped up the new
dish as if it were the greatest thing ever to come off the top of a stove.
“Oh, this is great!” her husband would exclaim. “I hope you cook this
more often.”
By the end of the meal, the kids would be saying, “Where’s ours?”
Gina would say, “This is adult food. I don’t know if you’d like this.” And
she wouldn’t give them any. The next night, she served the same dish,
and she and her husband gobbled it up while raving even louder about
how absolutely terrific it tasted. Again, the kids would ask, “Where’s
ours?” But Gina kept control of the ladle. “It may be too rich for you,”
she said. “I think kids’ taste buds just can’t handle this sort of thing.
You’re probably not old enough.”
By the third night, the kids were incensed. “We’ve got rights!” they
demanded. “We want to have some too!” Then Gina relented. “Oh, all
right,” she said, doling out tiny portions onto their plates. “But don’t eat
too much.” Gina’s method encouraged her kids to like what she prepared
for dinner.
Dealing with Improper Table Manners
As for table manners, we fall back on the Love and Logic axiom, If you