Parenting With Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility

(lu) #1

Another fruitful area of discussion involves the concept of saying no.
Will our children be able to say no to their friends? If we have allowed
the voice inside their head to gain in volume and quality over the years,
they will. But we should teach our kids to say no to their peers in the
same manner we say no to them: by saying yes to something else. If
friends want them to try drugs (this can happen before they hit their
teens, by the way), it’s easier for them to decline the offer by saying,
“Hey, I’d be glad to go roller-skating, or to the mall, or to the yogurt
shop. I want to do something with you, but I’d like it to be something
other than drugs.” Kids feel a lot stronger when they know how to say yes
to something else rather than just saying no and feeling out of it and
alone.
It also helps if we offer ourselves as fall guys. We should tell our
children, “If you need to say no to a peer and you want to use us as the
bad guys, feel free to say, ‘No, my folks would kill me if I did that!’”
This is one additional tool we can give our kids.

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