PEARL 47
Video and Computer Games
Just as we are able to control the amount of time our children spend in
front of the television, we can set time limits on the minutes or hours our
children spend shooting bad guys or racing cars from behind their video-
game console. Assuming that children are obedient, we can control the
amount of time they spend playing video games inside our own home.
The problem is, however, if we attempt to set such limits for our children
wherever they may be, we risk getting into a control battle that we will
certainly lose. Not only that, when we control the time our children spend
playing video games, we are, in essence, saying, “You don’t have the
self-discipline to limit yourself.” Such external limits, while sometimes
necessary, discourage independent decision making and self-control.
That’s sad because both skills are essential when our children make
choices regarding use of the car, friends, substance abuse, and sexual
activity.
Because limits can always be resorted to within our homes, let’s try
other things first. Let’s make sure our children have the opportunity to
practice setting their own limits, ideally when the cost of making
mistakes is low and they are dealing with video games rather than
substance abuse or sex.
Let’s listen in on a wise dad discussing video games with his son. He
follows the Love and Logic steps always recommended when dealing
with issues directly affecting the children:
- Confirm that this is a good time for the conversation.
- Show curiosity, interest, and acceptance (though not necessarily