Parenting With Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility

make us back off, we must stand firm. After all, the limit that was
imposed was the children’s choice. Of course they’re hungry if they
decided to put off their next meal because they didn’t mow the lawn. That
hunger is the natural consequence of their action. If you don’t work, you
don’t eat. We are certainly empathetic with their hunger. We know how it
feels to miss a meal, and we tell them so in all kindness and
understanding: “It is a bummer to miss a meal. Any of us would feel
hungry. But, boy, do I ever enjoy the next meal.”
If we relent, we demolish the meaning of those consequences. We set
up a crumbling limit for our children. If we get angry at them for the
choice they made or if we rail into them with an “I-told-you-so,” we also
present a crumbling limit. Those children then have ample reason to
direct their anger toward their parents instead of themselves.
Using enforceable thinking words, giving choices, displaying no anger
— these are the ingredients for establishing firm limits with our kids.