moving your chair? You don’t need to do that. Move it back to
where it was!”
MEGAN: “Brittany is going to help me.”
TEACHER: “You don’t need her help. Now, move your chair back to
where it was!”
MEGAN: “But I need help on this.”
TEACHER: “Move that chair or you’re going to get sent to the
recovery room.”
MEGAN: “I don’t have to. You can’t tell me what to do. You’re not
my mother!”At this point, the situation deteriorated. Megan was ordered to leave
the room. She refused and was threatened with disciplinary action.
Hearing this, she ran screaming out of the room, and other professionals
were drawn into the situation.
A “Nobody Loses” Approach
Here is another approach to the very same situation. No battle line is
drawn. Regardless of how the child reacts, she is actually obeying the
adult’s request. Both the dignity of the adult and the dignity of the child
can be maintained. Disciplinary action to help Megan learn the wisdom
of cooperating with the teacher can be provided at a later time if
necessary:
TEACHER: (walking up to the student and whispering) “Megan, I
need you to move your chair back. Would you consider doing that
for me? Thank you.” (The word consider takes away any threat and
eliminates the opportunity for Megan to be defiant.)
MEGAN: “But I want Brittany to help me.”
TEACHER: (still whispering) “I’m sure that’s true, and I’d like you
to consider moving.”
MEGAN: “No. I don’t have to.”
TEACHER: (still whispering) “Thanks for considering it. Do you