Erroneous Expectation: Parents expect kids to listen and respond the
first time a parent makes a request.
The Reality: Kids of all ages have trouble hearing and reacting to
parental requests. Their minds are legitimately busy with other things.
The younger kids are, the more difficulty they have tuning out the
other things in their head and focusing on your agenda!
What to Do: Parents make two kinds of requests of their children—
for Stop behavior and for Start behavior. Use your Start behavior
tactics to set up routines. These strategies help stop the noise inside
kids’ heads and help them to begin the requested behavior. Stop
behavior also requires a brain rebooting of sorts. For obnoxious
behavior, 1-2-3 Magic suggests counting.
- Sibling rivalry
Erroneous Expectation: Parents expect children to get along at all
times without adult intervention.
The Reality: All siblings fight. Siblings three through seven years old
fight about three to four times per hour. Younger kids can fight up to
six times per hour—once every ten minutes. Ten- to fifteen-year-olds
have the highest rate of sibling rivalry. More than 75 percent of
children have had physical fights with their siblings. Boys tend to
fight more physically, girls more emotionally.
What to Do: Whenever possible, don’t get involved, unless there is
risk of physical or emotional damage. If things are getting out of
hand, use the 1-2-3 Magic strategy of counting both children. (It takes
two to fight.) To help prevent sibling conflicts, try to ensure that
children get approximately equal time with each parent by