dinner at 5:45 p.m. when her eight-year-old daughter walks into the
kitchen:
“Can I have a Twinkie?”
“No, dear.”
“Why not?”
“Because we’re eating at six o’clock.”
Is there anything wrong with this conversation? No. The child asks
a clear question and the parent gives a clear answer. The problem,
however, is that some kids won’t leave it there. They will press the
issue further by adding in a whiny voice, “Yeah, but I want one.”
What is this parent going to do now? She’s a little aggravated and
she’s already given the necessary explanation. Should she repeat
herself? Elaborate on her answer? Keep quiet? Give a reprimand?
Let’s play this situation through in three scenes. In Scene I, we’ll
have a mother who believes that kids are little adults, and that words
and reasons will work everything out. We’ll see what happens with
that approach.
Then, in Scene II, our mother will be getting smarter. She will be
starting to use counting, but the child won’t be used to it yet.
In Scene III, the mother will be using the 1-2-3 method, and her
daughter will be used to the program and know how to respond to it.