reasonable, especially when you’re angry. These days there is an
argument about the use of punishment in raising kids. Some vote for
no punishment at all; some vote for limited punishment; and, sadly,
some parents are just plain brutal and take punishment too far.
I once spoke with a mother who was court-ordered to see me
because she’d poured Drano down her four-year-old’s throat once
when the child talked back to her. I also knew a father who set fire to
his daughter’s doll in the kitchen sink (after dousing the thing with
lighter fluid) after a long argument about homework. These are
examples of cruel, unusual, and stupid punishments.
Though the vast majority of parents will never come close to
taking such ridiculous and nasty measures, they may still be
vulnerable to episodes of yelling, name-calling, belittling, or even
rough physical tactics. But with 1-2-3 Magic the consequences are
reasonable, well-defined, and just potent enough to do the job.
Are time-outs and time-out alternatives punishments? Yes. But
they are not cruel, unusual, or stupid. A time-out is also a chance for
everyone to calm down. These brief and reasonable consequences do
not make the child so mad that he wants war. With this regimen, for
example, most kids come back from time-out having forgotten about
the whole thing. And you as the parent are not allowed to bring up and
rehash what happened—unless absolutely necessary—so that also
helps the house quickly return to normal.
So what’s the bottom line? Is there a role for punishment in raising
children? Yes, but mild, reasonable punishment administered by a
non-tantruming parent.
Easy for Other Caretakers to Learn
The 1-2-3 program is easy enough to learn that you can train
babysitters, grandparents, and other caregivers to use it. Parents who
are using 1-2-3 at home often tell their child’s teachers about the
program. In turn, teachers who use 1-2-3 Magic in class often share