seconds. Are the children frustrated when they are counted and don’t
get their way? Of course, but they get over it more quickly than they
would if you and they spent an hour or so trying to persuade, argue,
and yell each other into submission. After counting, things quickly go
back to normal. You can enjoy your kids and they can enjoy you.
There is not only more time for fun and affection, but you also feel
more like having fun and being affectionate.
Your Authority Is Not Negotiable
You would go crazy if you had to negotiate—every day—issues like
getting up, going to school, going to bed, homework, whining, and
sibling rivalry. But you shouldn’t have to, because you are the boss.
As a matter of fact, as a parent you must frustrate your kids on a
regular basis, because you can’t possibly give them everything they
want.
Many parents complicate their job of discipline by trying to be too
nice. In other words, they set two goals for themselves instead of just
one. Their first goal is to discipline their children, which is fine. But
their second goal is to get the kids to like it! Like the mother in Scene
I of the famous Twinkie example, the parents talk and talk and talk,
waiting for the children to say something like, “Gee, I never looked at
it like that before. Thanks for taking the time to explain it to me. I
appreciate your efforts to raise me to be a responsible child.”
Let’s get real. There’s the Little Adult Assumption lurking in the
back of the parental brain again. If your child does listen all the time
and more talking seems to help, fine. You’re lucky. But with
frustrated children that is not usually the case. Too often all that
talking escalates to arguing and worse.
The Punishment Is Short and Sweet
The 1-2-3 Magic program is a control on the kids, but it’s also a
control on the parents. As a parent, it’s not always easy to be