Learning Curves 161Parent: I don’t know if punishing you would make me
feel better. And it certainly hasn’t kept you from
breaking things. I was thinking there might be some
things you could help me with around the house.
Child: I could sweep the floors.
Parent: That’s an idea. That would be very helpful. Is
that something you’d do to help me feel better?
Child: Yes. Or I could help you take out the trash.
Parent: I think it would be most helpful for you to
sweep the floors. That would make me feel a lot
better. Maybe next time you get frustrated you
could let me help you instead of breaking the
table.
Child: I’ll try.What about time-out?
Some children actually find time-out to be a good place
to calm down when they’re frustrated, although this is the
exception, since time-out is usually used as a punishment.
More commonly, the explosions of many children are actu-
ally exacerbated—sometimes dramatically so—if someone
makes any kind of physical contact with them when they’re
frustrated. So if time-out simply fuels your child’s explo-
sions, forget it. Even under optimal circumstances, time-out
is typically not recommended for older children and ado-
lescents.