The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically I

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Pathways and Triggers 27

How do we know a child is having difficulty shifting
cognitive set? He tells us! Let’s listen in:

Parent: I’m running a little behind today. Finish your
breakfast, put your dishes in the sink, and get
ready for school.
Child: I’m not through eating yet.
Parent: Why don’t you grab an apple or something.
Come on, hurry! I have to drop some things at the
post office on the way there.
Child: I can’t do that!
Parent: You can’t do what? Why do you always do
this when I’m in a hurry? Just this once, could you
please do what I say without arguing?
Child: I don’t know what to do!
Parent: I just told you what to do! Don’t push me
today!
Child: (Kaboom)

Can explosive children be helped to shift cognitive set
more efficiently? Absolutely. Just not with threats and
consequences.
Organization and planning are also critical to the pro-
cess of thinking through one’s options for dealing with
problems or frustrations. Children with ADHD, for ex-
ample, are notorious for being disorganized (trouble
bringing the appropriate homework materials home from

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