The Myth of Giver Burnout
Years ago, Dutch psychologists studied hundreds of health professionals. They tracked the amount of
time and energy that the health professionals gave to patients, and asked them to report how burned
out they felt. A year later, the psychologists measured giving and burnout again. Sure enough, the more
the health professionals gave, the more burned out they became in the following year. Those who gave
selflessly had the highest burnout rates: they contributed far more than they got, and it exhausted them.
Those who acted like matchers and takers were far less burned out.
But strangely, in another study, the Dutch psychologists found evidence that some health care
professionals seemed immune to burnout. Even when they gave a great deal of time and energy, they
didn’t exhaust themselves. These resilient health care professionals were otherish givers: they
reported that they enjoyed helping other people and often went out of their way to do so, but weren’t
afraid to seek help when they needed it. The otherish givers had significantly lower burnout rates than
the matchers and takers, who lacked the stamina to keep contributing. This study pointed to an
unexpected possibility: although matchers and takers appear to be less vulnerable to burnout than
selfless givers, the greatest resilience may belong to otherish givers.
Part of the reason for this is illuminated in fascinating work by Northwestern University
psychologists Elizabeth Seeley and Wendi Gardner, who asked people to work on a difficult task that
sapped their willpower. For example, imagine that you’re very hungry, and you’re staring at a plate of
delicious chocolate chip cookies, but you have to resist the temptation to eat them. After using up their
willpower in a task like this, participants squeezed a handgrip as long as they could. The typical
participant was able to hold on for twenty-five seconds. But there was a group of people who were
able to hold on 40 percent longer, lasting for thirty-five seconds.
The participants with unusually high stamina scored high on a questionnaire measuring “other-
directedness.” These other-directed people operated like givers. By consistently overriding their
selfish impulses in order to help others, they had strengthened their psychological muscles, to the
point where using willpower for painful tasks was no longer exhausting. In support of this idea, other
studies have shown that givers accrue an advantage in controlling their thoughts, emotions, and
behaviors. Over time, giving may build willpower like weight lifting builds muscles. Of course, we
all know that when muscles are overused, they fatigue and sometimes even tear—this is what happens
to selfless givers.
In Utah, a seventy-five-year-old man understands the resilience of otherish givers. His name is
Jon Huntsman Sr., and his tiny photo from his company’s annual report appeared in chapter 2, in
juxtaposition with the full-size photo of Kenneth Lay (you might also recognize him as the father of
former Utah governor and 2012 Republican presidential candidate Jon Huntsman Jr.). Back in 1990,
the elder Huntsman was negotiating an acquisition with Charles Miller Smith, who was the president
and CEO of a chemical company. During the negotiations, Smith’s wife died. Huntsman empathized
with Smith, so he decided not to push any further: “I decided the fine points of the last 20 percent of
the deal would stand as they were proposed. I probably could have clawed another $200 million out
of the deal, but it would have come at the expense of Charles’ emotional state. The agreement as it
stood was good enough.”
Was a CEO’s emotional state really worth $200 million to Huntsman? Believe it or not, this