Advanced Distress Tolerance Skills: Improve the Moment 43they feel guilty or selfish about doing anything for themselves. But how long can you continue to
take care of someone else without taking care of yourself? Imagine a woman who stands on a street
corner on a hot, summer day holding a jug of cold water. She pours drinks for every pedestrian
who walks by and, of course, everyone is grateful. But what happens when she’s thirsty and goes to
get a drink? After a long day of helping everyone else and neglecting herself, the jug is now empty.
How often do you feel like this woman? How often do you run out of time for yourself because
you’ve spent all of it taking care of other people? Helping others is a good thing to do as long as
it doesn’t come at the expense of sacrificing your own health. You need to take care of yourself,
and that doesn’t mean you’re selfish.
Exercise: Time-Out
Here are some simple ideas you can use to take time out for yourself. Check () the ones you’re
willing to do.
Treat yourself as kindly as you treat other people. Do one nice thing for yourself that you’ve
been putting off.
Take time to devote to yourself, even if it’s just a few hours during the week, by doing things
like taking a walk or preparing your favorite meal.
Or if you’re feeling really brave, take a half day off from work. Go someplace beautiful, like
a park, the ocean, a lake, the mountains, a museum, or even someplace like a shopping
center.
Take time to do things for your own life, like shopping, errands, doctor’s appointments,
and so on.
Other ideas:
LIvE IN THE PRESENT MOMENT
Time travel is possible. We all do it occasionally, but some people do it more often than others.
People who time travel spend a large portion of each day thinking about all the things they
should’ve done yesterday, all the things that went wrong in the past, and all the things they’re sup-
posed to do tomorrow. As a result, that’s where they live, in the past or in the future. They rarely
pay attention to what’s happening to them right now, so they miss living in the present moment—
the only true moment in which anyone can really live. For example, notice what’s happening to