Once Upon A Time In Carrotland My YouTube Autobiography Which I Definitely Wrote All Of

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habit du jour was dropping French words into sentences when there
was absolutely no need. It was so passé, just like the time he
pretended to be interested in fine wine, and went around telling
everyone about his collection of bon vins. It was like deja vu all over
again. It was tres tres exhausting trying to keep everyone happy, and I
decided the best solution was for Gabie and I to be close both
emotionally and geographically at last. It was time to marry Gabie and
live happily ever after in London.

In 2015, just over a year after I met Gabie, I decided it was the
right time to propose. I knew from all the wonderful and accurate
romance movies I’d seen that I would have to do something big and
dramatic. Gabie’s sister Esther was living in Australia at the time and
Gabie told me about her plans to visit her the next month. This was
the chance I’d been waiting for. I chartered a horse bound for Sydney
and told Esther my plan. I really wanted to propose on the beach, and
I had an idea to surprise Gabie as she stepped from the Sugar Loaf
Mountain cable car onto the warm sands at Copacabana.
Unfortunately, as Esther pointed out, these things were eight thousand
miles away in Rio De Janeiro, so she suggested a spot along the
coast just outside Sydney. I agreed and the stage was set for the
biggest moment of my life. As I boarded the first horse on my 27-hour
journey I was so dauxcited that I weed a little. I decided to record the
whole journey for posterity, and accidently made the most romantic
video ever produced.
The date I’d chosen was Gabie’s birthday, which added another
dimension of magic to the brilliant plan. As I set up the cameras at the
interception point and waited for Gabie and Esther to arrive, I
contemplated the future I’d chosen. What if she said no? What if she
said she didn’t love me? What if she was already married? Whoever
said a proposal was easy to do was lying, although now I think about it
no-one has ever said that. As far as I was concerned, I hadn’t been
so sure of the rightness of something since the day Ollie and I had met
and he’d asked me to platonically marry him in friendship. After 45
minutes Gabie arrived and I appeared as if by magic from behind a

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