Once Upon A Time In Carrotland My YouTube Autobiography Which I Definitely Wrote All Of

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19


GABIE


The convention made me realise how much I had missed Korea and
how earnestly I longed with all my heart to go back. Korea felt homely
to me, like a home, and I felt welcome there. Ollie had had a great
time too. Who wouldn’t? But it was also kind of hard for him that he
didn’t speak much Korean and I had a degree in Korean and a natural
penchant for languages and a better hair style, and a smaller head. I
tried to be sensitive to this, and sang him ‘Happy Birthday’.
Unfortunately, loads of people joined in and it became a medium sized
debacle. Our managers Katherine and Kate panicked and bought Ollie a
cake and paraded it in with candles, while Ollie protested that it wasn’t
actually his birthday. There was so much incredible food to eat and so
I went to see what I could find. Then something happened. Something
so totally amazing that my neck brace came bursting off and shattered
into a million pieces, because my mind was blown, big time. I met
Gabie.
Sometimes, things just fall into place. If anyone had told me I was
going to find true love at K-con, I would not have believed it. I had
entirely given up on love and was satisfied with the companionship
Ollie and Muncho gave me.


I first saw her across the room. She was wearing a chef’s outfit
and deeply engrossed in her work. She was putting the finishing
touches to a giant swan made out of chimaek and glazing it with a fiery
hot sauce. It reminded me of my parents’ love story, involving a crispy
swan, and seemed like a sign. She turned around and caught my
gaze. It probably sounds like one of those love scenes in a movie,
that I don’t believe in, but it happened in real life for real.
She smiled and I said, “What an incredible swan made of fried
chicken!”


“Thanks,” she said. Her voice was like the music of the birds
returning in the springtime and frolicking in the apple blossom. I had

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