EXPLORE OTHERS' PATHS 1 53be? Is there anything we can do?" Nothing. Finally, he primed.
That is, he took his best guess at what they might be thinking,
said it in a way that showed it was okay to talk about it, and then
went on from there. "Are you thinking that the only reason we're
doing this is to make money? That maybe we don't care about
your personal lives?"
After a brief pause, someone answered: "Well, it sure looks
like that. Do you have any idea how much trouble this is going
to cause?" Then someone else chimed in and the discussion was
off and running.
Now, this is not the kind of thing you would do unless noth
ing else has worked. You really want to hear from others, and
you have a very strong idea of what they're probably thinking.
Priming is an act of good faith, taking risks, becoming vulnera
ble, and building safety in hopes that others will share their
meaning.
But What If They're Wrong?
Sometimes it feels dangerous to sincerely explore the views of
someone whose path is wildly different from your own. He or
she could be completely wrong, and we're acting calm and col
lected. This makes us nervous.
To keep ourselves from feeling nervous while exploring others'
paths-no matter how different or wrong they seem-remember
we're trying to understand their point of view, not necessarily
agree with it or support it. Understanding doesn't equate with
agreement. By coming to understand another person's Path to
Action, we are not accepting it as absolute truth. There will be
plenty of time later for us to share our path as well. For now,
wc're merely trying to get at what others think in order to under
stand why they're feeling the way they're feeling and doing what
they'rc doing.