Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High

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When it's time to pass out assignments, remember, there is no
"we." "We," when it comes to assignments, actually means, "not
me." It's code. Even when individuals are not trying to duck an
assignment, the term "we" can lead them to believe that others
are taking on the responsibility.
Assign a name to every responsibility. This especially applies
at home. If you're divvying up household chores, be sure you've
got a specific person to go with each chore. That is, if you assign
two or three people to take on a task, appoint one of them the
responsible party. Otherwise, any sense of responsibility will be
lost in a flurry of finger-pointing later on.


Does What?

Be sure to spell out the exact deliverables you have in mind. The
fuzzier the expectations, the higher the likelihood of disappoint­
ment. For example, the eccentric entrepreneur Howard Hughes
once assigned a team of engineers to design and build the world's
first steam-powered car. When sharing his dream of a vehicle that
could run on heated water, he gave them virtually no direction.
After several years of intense labor the engineers successfully
produced the first prototype by running dozens of pipes through
the car's body-thus solving the problem of where to put all the
water required to run a steam-powered car. The vehicle was
essentially a giant radiator.
When Hughes asked the engineers what would happen if the
car got into a wreck, they nervously explained that the passen­
gers would be boiled alive, much like lobsters in a pot. Hughes
was so upset in what the crew came up with that he insisted they
cut it up into pieces no larger than three inches. That was the
cnd of the project.
Lcarn from Hughes. When you're first agreeing on an assign­
mcnt, clarify up front the exact details of what you want.

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