The Last Black Unicorn

(Ann) #1
Pimp     Friend  2:  “Maybe  Tiĉ     should  hang    with    us.     She
sound like the true pimp.”

He  called  me, all hysterical, voice   trembling.

Titus:  “You    take    my  bitch?”

Tiffany:    “Yeah,  I   took    your    bitch,  BITCH,  and I’ll    do  it
again. I’ll take all your bitches, you little dirty-ass
motherfucker.”

Titus:  “I  fucking hate    you.    You’re  a   horrible    person.”

I   just    felt    so  good.   I   felt    like    I   really  accomplished    a   lot.

•       •       •

Eventually, I started pimping Titus’s male friends. One of his
boys—we called him Goliath because he was so huge—
heard what I had been doing for Bertha. He asked me if I
could set him up, too. I started oĉ getting him some pornos,
and those went well. Then something else came up.
I was still doing Bar Mitzvahs on the weekends, and of
course, if you’re doing Bar Mitzvahs, you’re going to meet
old Jewish ladies. I met a lot of lonely ones, and I got to be
friends with them. ͳen they started telling me how lonely
they were and saying things like, “My husband’s not
satisfying me.”
I remember the mrst conversation that started it. I had
just finished a Bar Mitzvah practice, and was about to leave.

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