199Take a lesson from Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law, who, seeing
Moses’ lack of boundaries, asked him why he was working so
hard (Exod. 18:14–27).
“Because the people need me,” Moses said.
“What you are doing is not good,” Jethro replied. “You and
these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out.
The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone” (vv.
17–18). Even though Moses was doing good work, Jethro saw
that he was going to burn himself out. Moses had allowed good
work to go too far. Limits on good things keep them good.
Problem #4: Difficult Co-workers
A personnel counselor will often send someone to our hos-
pital program because of stress at work. When these situations
are unraveled, the “stress at work” often turns out to be some-
body at the office who is driving the stressed-out person crazy.
This person in the office or workplace has a strong influence
over the emotional life of the person in pain, and he or she does
not know how to deal with it.
In this case you need to remember the Law of Power: You
only have the power to change yourself. You can’t change another
person. You must see yourself as the problem, not the other per-
son. To see another person as the problem to be fixed is to give
that person power over you and your well-being. Because you
cannot change another person, you are out of control. The real
problem lies in how you are relating to the problem person. You
are the one in pain, and only you have the power to fix it.
Many people have found immense relief in the thought that
they have no control over another person and that they must
focus on changing their reactions to that person. They must
refuse to allow that person to affect them. This idea is life chang-
ing, the beginning of true self-control.
Problem #5: Critical Attitudes
Stress is often caused by working with or for someone who
is supercritical. People will get hooked into either trying to win
Boundaries and Work