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niture. It was just what we needed. The price was right. The only
problem was that we couldn’t afford it. I guess I’m hopeless.”
Pete wasn’t hopeless, but his philosophy, popular among
Christians, certainly was. He had been trying to use willpower
to solve his boundary problems, probably the most common
approach to out-of-control behavior.
The willpower approach is simple. Whatever the problem
behavior is, just stop doing it. In other words, “just say no.”
Imperatives such as “Choose to stop,” “Decide to say no,” and
“Make a commitment to never do it again” abound in this
approach.
The problem with this approach is that it makes an idol out
of the will, something God never intended. Just as our hearts
and minds are distorted by the Fall, so is our power to make
right decisions. Will is only strengthened by relationship; we
can’t make commitments alone. God told Moses to encourage
and strengthen Joshua (Deut. 3:28); he didn’t tell Moses to tell
Joshua to “just say no.”
If we depend on willpower alone, we are guaranteed to fail.
We are denying the power of the relationship promised in the
cross. If all we need is our will to overcome evil, we certainly
don’t need a Savior (1 Cor. 1:17). The truth is, willpower alone
is useless against self-boundary struggles:
Why do you submit to [the world’s] rules: “Do not handle!
Do not taste! Do not touch!”? These are all destined to per-
ish with use, because they are based on human commands
and teachings. Such regulations indeed have an appearance
of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false
humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack
any value in restraining sensual indulgence. (Col. 2:20–23)
The King James Bible translates the Greek word for “self-
imposed worship” as “will-worship.” In other words, these self-
denying practices that appear so spiritual don’t stop
out-of-control behavior. The boundaryless part of the soul sim-
ply becomes more resentful under the domination of the will—
Boundaries