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teenage years, however, Helen inadvertently began to “tell the
truth” about her family problem, in nonverbal ways. She became
sexually promiscuous at a very early age.
As an adult, Helen reflected in therapy on her tumultuous
teen years. “I can’t even remember the boys’ faces. All I knew
was that someone wanted something from me, and I felt it was
my duty to give it to them—for no other reason than that they
wanted it! I felt that I had no say-so in the matter.”
Helen had not been treasured by one of the people who
should have treasured and cherished her most. As a result, she
did not treasure herself. She provided sexual services to just
about anyone who requested them. She had no sense that her
body and feelings were a “pearl of great value” (Matt. 13:46),
given to her by God, which she was to protect and develop.
When Christians begin to value getting well, recovering, and
developing themselves into the image of God (all of which are
different ways of saying the same thing), a shift occurs. They
begin desiring a return on God’s investment (remember the
parable of the talents in Matthew 25:14–30). Taking care of
themselves becomes important.
Steve walked up to me excitedly one day. As he wasn’t given
to emotional outbursts, I knew something important was going
on. He showed me his Bible, where he had been reading 1 Corin-
thians 8:11: “So this weak brother, for whom Christ died, is
destroyed by your knowledge.”
“Something is happening inside of me,” he said. “For years,
I felt guilty about reading that passage. I thought it was con-
demning me for leading weaker Christians into sin.”
“Well, it does say that,” I replied. “But you’ve noticed some-
thing else.”
“I have,” said Steve. “I’m seeing that I’m also a ‘brother for
whom Christ died.’ That means I need to be as careful and con-
cerned about myself as I am about others. There’s no difference
between what God thinks of him and what God thinks of me.”
Steve had realized an important theological point. For years,
Christians have been taught that protecting their spiritual and
emotional property is selfish. Yet God is interested in people
Boundaries