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To avoid these scenarios, we need to look at what falls within
our boundaries, what we are responsible for.
Feelings
Feelings have gotten a bad rap in the Christian world. They
have been called everything from unimportant to fleshly. At the
same time, example after example shows how our feelings play
an enormous role in our motivation and behavior. How many
times have you seen people do ungodly things to one another
because of hurt feelings? Or how many times has someone had
to be hospitalized for depression after years and years of trying
to ignore the way they felt until they became suicidal?
Feelings should neither be ignored nor placed in charge.
The Bible says to “own” your feelings and be aware of them.
They can often motivate you to do much good. The Good
Samaritan’s pity moved him to go to the injured Israelite (Luke
10:33). The father was filled with compassion for his lost son and
threw his arms around him (Luke 15:20). Many times Jesus “had
compassion” for the people to whom he ministered (Matt. 9:36;
15:32).
Feelings come from your heart and can tell you the state of
your relationships. They can tell you if things are going well, or
if there is a problem. If you feel close and loving, things are
probably going well. If you feel angry, you have a problem that
needs to be addressed. But the point is, your feelings are your
responsibility and you must own them and see them as your
problem so you can begin to find an answer to whatever issue
they are pointing to.
Attitudes and Beliefs
Attitudes have to do with your orientation toward some-
thing, the stance you take toward others, God, life, work, and
relationships. Beliefs are anything that you accept as true. Often
we do not see an attitude, or belief, as the source of discomfort
in our life. We blame other people as did our first parents, Adam
Boundaries