INTRODUCTION

But sexual union is no more than a fleeting glimpse of
wholeness,aninstantofbliss.Aslongasit isunconsciously
sought as a means of salvation, you are seeking the end of
duality onthelevel ofform, whereit cannot befound.You
are given a tantalizing glimpse of heaven, but you are not
allowedtodwell there,andfindyourself againinaseparate
body.
On the psychological level, the sense of lack and
incompleteness is, if anything, even greater than on the
physical level. As long as you are identified with the mind,
youhaveanexternally derivedsenseof self.That istosay,
you get your sense of who you are from things that
ultimatelyhavenothingtodowithwhoyouare: yoursocial
role,possessions,externalappearance,successesandfailures,
belief systems, and so on. This false, mind-made self, the
ego, feels vulnerable, insecure, and is always seeking new
things to identifywithtogiveit a feeling that it exists. But
nothingiseverenoughto give it lastingfulfillment.Its fear
remains;itssenseoflackandneedinessremains.
Butthenthatspecialrelationshipcomesalong.It seems
tobetheanswertoalltheego'sproblemsandtomeet allits
needs. At least this is howit appears at first. All the other
things that youderived your sense of self from before, now
becomerelativelyinsignificant.Younowhaveasinglefocal
pointthat replacesthem all,givesmeaning toyour life, and
through which you define your identity: the personyou are
"inlove"with.Youarenolongeradisconnectedfragmentin
anuncaring universe,or so it seems.Yourworldnowhas a
center: thelovedone.Thefact that the center isoutsideyou
andthat,therefore,youstillhaveanexternallyderivedsense
of self does notseem tomatteratfirst.Whatmatters is that
the underlying feelings of incompleteness,of fear, lack and
unfulfillmentsocharacteristicoftheegoicstatearenolonger
there — or are they? Have they dissolved, or do they
continuetoexistunderneaththehappysurfacereality?
If in your relationshipsyouexperienceboth "love"and
theoppositeoflove—attack,emotionalviolence,andsoon