Are You Doomed? (Yes, You’re Doomed)
Seeing the pattern of the Drama Triangle is a strong first step in
breaking the working-too-hard pattern of the time-crunched
manager. Once you understand the triggers, you can start to
reshape the habit.
The bad news is that you are in fact destined to keep falling
into the Drama Triangle for the rest of your life.
The good news is that you’ll get better and better at
recognizing it and breaking the pattern, faster and more often.
Samuel Beckett put it best: “Go on failing. Go on. Only next
time, try to fail better.”
You’ll fail better by recognizing more quickly that you’re in the
Drama Triangle and by asking the Lazy Question—“How can I
help?”—to pull yourself out of the triangle faster.
The Lazy Question: How Can I Help?
The power of “How can I help?” is twofold. First, you’re forcing
your colleague to make a direct and clear request. That may be
useful to him. He might not be entirely sure why he started this
conversation with you. Sure, he knows he wants something, but
until you asked the question, he didn’t know that he wasn’t exactly
clear on what he wanted. Unless he was, in which case the question