support. Come to think of it, I have to take care of my friends' careers too. And
Vidya? She is only eighteen. She has to study more, be a PR person or whatever
she wants to be. She couldn't move from one prison to the next. Ok, worst case I
have to mention the A-word.
She slid away from me. The crying had made her eyes wet and face pink. She
looked even more beautiful. Why can't men stop noticing beauty, ever? We stood
up to walk back after a few minutes.
'Let's wait for a day or two more. We'll see what we have to do then,' I said as
we reached the auto stand.
'It's probably a false alarm. I'm overreacting. I should have waited for a day or
two longer before telling you,' she said. She clasped my fingers in the auto. Her
face vacillated from calm to worried.
We kept quiet in the auto for five minutes. Then I had to say it. 'Vidya, in case,
just in case it is not a false alarm. What are we going to do? Or should we talk
about it later?'
'You tell me, what do you want to do?'
When women ask you for your choice, they already have a choice in mind. And
if you want to maintain sanity, you'd better choose the same.
I looked into her eyes to find out the answer she expected from me. I couldn't
find it.
'I don't know. This is too big a news for me. I can't say what we will do.
Pregnancy, abortion, I don't know how all this works.'
'You want me to get an abortion?'
'No, no. I said I don't know. What's the other option, marriage?'
'Excuse me, I am eighteen. I just passed out of school,' she said.
'Then what?'
'I don't know. I don't want to think. Please don't talk about it,' she said.
We kept quiet for the rest of the auto journey.
'Here, take this maths guide to show at home,' I said and passed her a book
when she reached home.
Vidya and I exchanged ten 'are you asleep' and 'not yet' messages that night.
'What's up?' Ish said as I laid my head on the cashbox early morning.
'Nothing. Couldn't sleep well,' I said.
'Why? Thinking of Pandit-ji's daughter,' Ish laughed. I ignored him. Every few
hours I had the urge to send Vidya a 'did anything happen' message. But she
would tell me if something happened. I opened a calendar and tracked all the
past dates of our intimacy. Apart from the first time several months ago, I had
used protection every time. Could they be late for any other reason? I didn't know
and I could not ask anyone. Ish and Omi probably didn't even know the P-word.
And there was no other woman I knew apart from Vidya. And I couldn't ask mom
anyway. I picked up my phone again. 'How is it going?', I sent a neutral message.
'Nothing yet', she replied back.
The next night I did get some sleep. I sprang out of bed early morning to SMS
her again. I had an SMS from her already, 'a bit of pain, nothing else'.
I threw the phone away. I wanted to reach the shop early to take out supplies
from the godown. Somehow, I hated being late anymore.