Ifyoudiscoveryou are experiencingrolereversal, I wanttoassureyouthateverythingisallright. I
suggestthatwhenyoudonotrelatetosomethinginthisbook,eitherignoreit(movingontosomething
youdorelateto)orlookdeeperinsideyourself.Manymenhavedeniedsomeoftheirmasculineattributes
inordertobecomemorelovingandnurturing.Likewisemanywomenhavedeniedsomeoftheirfeminine
attributesinordertoearnalivinginaworkforcethatrewardsmasculineattributes.Ifthisisthecase,
thenbyapplyingthesuggestions,strategies,andtechniquesinthisbookyounotonly willcreatemore
passioninyourrelationshipsbutalsowillincreasinglybalanceyourmasculineandfemininecharacteristics.
InthisbookIdonotdirectlyaddressthequestionofwhymenandwomenaredifferent.Thisisacomplex
question to which there are many answers, ranging from biological differences, parental influence,
education,andbirthordertoculturalconditioningby society,themedia, andhistory.(Theseissuesare
explored in great depth in my book Men, Women, and Relationships: Making Peace with the
OppositeSex.)
Althoughthebenefitsofapplyingtheinsightsinthisbookareimmediate,thisbookdoesnotreplacethe
needfortherapy andcounseling for troubledrelationships orsurvivorsofadysfunctionalfamily. Even
healthyindividualsmayneedtherapyorcounselingatchallengingtimes.Ibelievestronglyinthepowerful
andgradualtransformationthatoccursintherapy,marriagecounseling,andtwelve-steprecoverygroups.
Yetrepeatedly Ihaveheardpeoplesaythatthey havebenefitedmorefrom thisnewunderstandingof
relationshipsthanfromyearsoftherapy.Ihoweverbelievethattheiryearsoftherapyorrecoverywork
provided the groundwork that allowed them to apply these insights so successfully to their life and
relationships.
Ifourpastwasdysfunctional,thenevenafteryearsoftherapyorattendingrecoverygroupswestillneeda
positivepictureofhealthyrelationships.Thisbookprovidesthatvision.Ontheotherhand,evenifourpast
hasbeenverylovingandnurturing,timeshavechanged,andanewapproachtorelationshipsbetweenthe
sexesisstillrequired.Itisessentialtolearnnewandhealthywaysofrelatingandcommunicating.
Ibelieveeveryonecan benefitfrom theinsights in thisbook.Theonly negativeresponseI hear from
participantsinmyseminarsandinthelettersIreceiveis"Iwishsomeonehadtoldmethisbefore."
Itisnevertoolatetoincreasetheloveinyourlife.Youonlyneedtolearnanewway.Whetheryouarein
therapyornot,ifyouwanttohavemorefulfillingrelationshipswiththeoppositesex,thisbookisforyou.
ItisapleasuretosharewithyouMenArefromMars,WomenArefromVenus.Mayyoualwaysgrow
inwisdomandinlove.Maythefrequencyofdivorcedecreaseandthenumberofhappymarriagesincrease.
Ourchildrendeserveabetterworld.