more;thereforehegivesmorepointsifsherespondsbybeingsupportive. Thebiggerthemistake, the
morepointshegivesherforherlove.Ifhedoesn'treceiveherlovehetendstogiveherpenaltypoints
accordingtohowmuchheneededherlove.Ifhefeelsrejectedastheresultofabigmistakehemaygive
alotofpenaltypoints.
WHATMAKESMENDEFENSIVE....................................................................................................
Amanmaybecomesoangryatawomanwhenhehasmadethemistakeandthewomanisupset.His
upsetis proportionalto the size ofhismistake. Alittlemistakemakeshimlessdefensive,whileabig
mistakemakeshimmuchmoredefensive.Sometimeswomenwonderwhyamandoesn'tsayheissorry
forabigmistake.Theanswerisheisafraidofnotbeingforgiven.Itistoopainfultoacknowledgethathe
hasfailedherinsomeway.Insteadofsayingheissorryhemaybecomeangrywithherforbeingupset
andgiveherpenaltypoints.
Whenaman isinanegativestate, ifshecantreat him likeapassingtornadoandlielow, after the
tornadohaspassedhewillgiveheranabundanceofbonuspointsfornotmakinghimwrongorfornot
trying to change him. If shetries to stopthetornado itwillcreate havoc, andhewillblameher for
interfering.
Thisisanewinsightformany womanbecauseonVenuswhen someoneisupsettheVenusiansnever
ignoreherorevenconsiderlyinglow.Tornadoesdon'texistonVenus.Whensomeoneisupseteveryone
getsinvolvedwithoneanotherandtriestounderstandwhatisbotheringherbyaskingalotofquestions.
WhenatornadopassesonMarseveryonefindsaditchandlieslow.
WHENMENGIVEPENALTYPOINTS..............................................................................................
Ithelpsgreatlywhenwomenunderstandthatmenscorepointsdifferently.Thatmengivepenaltypointsis
veryconfusingtowomenanddoesn'tmakeitsafeforwomentosharetheirfeelings.Certainly,itwouldbe
wonderfulifanmencouldseehowunfairpenaltypointsareandchangeovernight--butchangetakestime.
Whatcanbereassuringforawoman,however,istoknowthatjustasamanquicklygivesoutthepenalty
pointshealsotakesthemback.
Amangivingpenaltypointsissimilartoawomanfeelingresentfulwhenshegivesmorethanhedoes.She
subtractshisscorefromhersandgiveshimazero. Atsuchtimesamancanjustbeunderstandingthat
sheissickwiththeresentmentfluandgivehersomeextralove.
Similarly, when a man is giving penalty points, awoman can realize that hehas his own version of
resentmentflu. Heneedssomeextralovesohecan getbetter. Asaresult, heimmediately givesher