reconditioning him to respond positively to your requests. When a man gradually realizes that he is
appreciatedandnottakenforgrantedandthathepleasesyou,hewillwanttorespondpositivelytoyour
requests when hecan. Then hewillbegin automatically offering hissupport. Butthis advanced stage
shouldn'tbeexpectedinthebeginning.
Butthere'sanotherreasontostartbyaskinghimforwhathe'salreadygiving.Youneedtobesureyou're
askinginawayhecanhearyouandrespond.That'swhatImeanwhenIsay"askingcorrectly."
Tips for Motivating a Men
TherearefivesecretsofhowtocorrectlyaskaMartianforsupport.Iftheyarenotobserved,hemaybe
easilyturnedoff.Theyare:appropriatetiming,nondemandingattitude,bebrief,bedirect,andusecorrect
wording.
Let'slookateachmoreclosely:
I.AppropriateTiming.Becarefulnottoaskhimtodosomethingthatheisobviouslyjustplanningtodo.
Forexample,ifheisabouttoemptythetrash,don'tsay"Couldyouemptythetrash?"Hewillfeelyouare
telling him what to do. Timing is crucial. Also ifhe is fully focused on something don't expect him
immediatelytorespondtoyourrequest.
- Nondemanding Attitude. Remember, a request is not a demand. If you have a resentful or
demandingattitude,nomatterhowcarefullyyouchooseyourwords,hewillfeelunappreciatedforwhathe
hasalreadygivenandprobablysayno.
3 .BeBrief.Avoidgivinghimalistofreasonswhyheshouldhelpyou.Assumethatliedoesn'thavetobe
convinced. The longer you explain yourselfthe more hewillresist, Long explanationsvalidating your
requestmakehimfeelasthough you don'ttrusthimtosupportyou.Hewillstarttofeelmanipulated
insteadoffreetoofferhissupport.
Justasawomanwhoisupsetdoesn'twantto hearalistofreasons andexplanationsaboutwhyshe
shouldn'tbeupset, amandoesn'twanttohearalistofreasonsandexplanationsaboutwhyheshould
fulfillherrequest.
Womenmistakenly givealistofreasonstojustifytheirneeds. Theythinkitwillhelphim seethather
requestisvalidandthereforemotivatehim.Whataman hearsis"Thisiswhyyouhavetodo it."The
longer thelist, themorehemayresistsupportingyou.Ifheasksyou"why?"thenyoucangiveyour
reasons,butthenagain,becautiouslybrief.Practicetrustingthathewilldoit,ifhecan.Beasbriefas
possible.
4 .BeDirect.Womenoftenthinktheyareaskingforsupportwhentheyarenot.Whensheneedssupport,