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Oneof thebiggestdifferences between men and women is how they copewithstress. Men become
increasingly focused and withdrawn while women become increasingly overwhelmed and emotionally
involved.Atthesetimes,aman'sneedsforfeelinggoodaredifferentfromawoman's.HHHHeeeeffffeeeeeeeellllssssbbbbeeeetttttttteeeerrrrbbbbyyyy
ssssoooollllvvvviiiinnnngggg pppprrrroooobbbblllleeeemmmmssss wwwwhhhhiiiilllleeee sssshhhheeee ffffeeeeeeeellllssssbbbbeeeetttttttteeeerrrr bbbbyyyy ttttaaaallllkkkkiiiinnnngggg aaaabbbboooouuuutttt pppprrrroooobbbblllleeeemmmmssss.... Not understanding and
accepting these differences creates unnecessary friction in our relationships. Let's look ata common
example.

WhenTomcomeshome,hewantstorelaxandunwindbyquietlyreadingthenews.Heisstressedbythe
unsolvedproblemsofhisdayandfindsreliefthroughforgettingthem.

Hiswife,Mary,alsowantstorelaxfrom herstressfulday.She,however, wantstofindreliefbytalking
abouttheproblemsofherday.Thetensionslowlybuildingbetweenthemgraduallybecomesresentment.

TomsecretlythinksMarytalkstoomuch,whileMaryfeelsignored.Withoutunderstandingtheirdifferences
theywillgrowfurtherapart.

Youprobablycanrecognizethissituationbecauseitisjustoneofmanyexampleswheremenandwomen
areatodds.ThisproblemisnotjustTomandMary'sbutispresentinalmosteveryrelationship.

SolvingthisproblemforTomandMarydependsnotonhowmuchtheylovedeachotherbutonhowmuch
theyunderstoodtheoppositesex.

Withoutknowingthatwomenreallydoneedtotalkaboutproblemstofeelbetter,Tomwouldcontinueto
thinkMarytalkedtoomuchandresistlisteningtoher.WithoutknowingthatTomwasreadingthenewsto
feelbetter,Marywouldfeelignoredandneglected.Shewouldpersistintryingtogethimtotalkwhenhe
didn'twantto.

Thesetwodifferencescanberesolvedbyfirstunderstandingingreaterdetailhowmenandwomencope
withstress.Let'sagainobservelifeonMarsandVenusandgleansomeinsightsaboutmenandwomen.

COPINGWITHSTRESSONMARSANDVENUS................................................................................

WhenaMartiangetsupsethenevertalksaboutwhatisbotheringhim.Hewouldneverburdenanother
Martian withhisproblemunlesshis friend'sassistancewasnecessarytosolvetheproblem.Insteadhe
becomesveryquietandgoestohisprivate cavetothink abouthis problem, mullingitover tofinda
solution.Whenhehasfoundasolution,hefeelsmuchbetterandcomesoutofhiscave.