15 ."Ididn'tknowwhereyouwere."(Youshouldhavecalled.)
16 ."Somebodydrankfromthejuicebottle."
17 ."Don'teatwithyourfingers.You'resettingabadexample."
18 ."Thosepotatochipsaretoogreasy.They'renotgoodforyourheart."
19 ."Youarenotleavingyourselfenoughtime."
20 ."Youshouldgivememore[advance]notice.Ican'tjustdropeverythingandgotolunchwithyou."
21 ."Yourshirtdoesn'tmatchyourpants."
22 ."Billcalledforthethirdtime.Whenareyougoingtocallhimback?"
23 ."Yourtoolboxissuchamess.Ican'tfindanything.Youshouldorganizeit."
Whenawomandoesnotknowhowtodirectlyaskamanforsupport(chapter 12 )orconstructivelysharea
differenceofopinion(chapter 9 ),shemayfeelpowerlesstogetwhatsheneedswithoutgivingunsolicited
adviceorcriticism(again,weexplorethistopicmorefullylateron).Topracticegivingacceptanceandnot
givingadviceandcriticismis,however,abigstep.
Byclearlyunderstandingheisrejectingnotherneedsbutthewaysheisapproachinghim,shecantake
hisrejectionlessperson-allyandexploremoresupportivewaysofcommunicatingherneeds.Graduallyshe
willrealizethatamanwantstomakeimprovementswhenhefeelsheisbeingapproachedasthesolution
toaproblemratherthanastheproblemitself.
Ifyou areawoman, Isuggestthatforthenextweek practicerestraining from givingany unsolicited
adviceorcriticism. Themenin your lifenotonlywillappreciateitbutalsowillbemoreattentiveand
responsivetoyou.
Ifyouareaman,Isuggestthatforthenextweekyoupracticelisteningwheneverawomanspeaks,with
thesoleintentionofrespectfully understanding whatsheis goingthrough. Practicebitingyourtongue
wheneveryougettheurgetoofferasolutionorchangehowsheisfeeling.Youwillbesurprisedwhenyou
experiencehowmuchsheappreciatesyou.