WHENAMANLOVESAWOMAN.....................................................................................................
AmanfallinginlovewithawomanissimilartowhattookplacewhenthefirstMartiandiscoveredthe
Venusians.Stuckinhiscaveandunabletofindthesourceofhisdepression,hewassearchingtheskywith
histelescope.Asifhehadbeenstruck by lightning,in onegloriousmomenthis lifewaspermanently
changed.Hehadglimpsedthroughhistelescopeavisionhedescribedasawesomebeautyandgrace.
HehaddiscoveredtheVenusians.Hisbodylitonfire.AshewatchedtheVenusians,forthefirsttimeinhis
lifehebegantocareaboutsomeoneotherthanhimself.Fromjustoneglimpsehislifehadnewmeaning.
Hisdepressionlifted.
Martianshaveawin/losephilosophy_-lwanttowin,andIdon'tcareifyoulose.AslongaseachMartian
tookcareofhimselfthisformulaworkedfine.Itworkedforcenturies,butnowitneededtobechanged.
Givingprimarilytothemselveswasnolongerassatisfying.Beinginlove,theywantedtheVenusianstowin
asmuchasthemselves.
InmostsportstodaywecanseeanextensionofthisMartiancompetitivecode.Forexample,intennisI
notonlywanttowinbutalsotrytomakemyfriendlosebymakingitdifficultforhimtoreturnmyshots.I
enjoywinningeventhoughmyfriendloses.
MostoftheseMartianattitudeshaveaplaceinlife,butthiswin/loseattitudebecomesharmfulinouradult
relationships.IfIseektofulfillmyownneedsattheexpenseofmypartner,wearesuretoexperience
unhappiness,resentment,andconflict.Thesecretofformingasuccessfulrelationshipisforbothpartners
towin.
Differences Attract
AfterthefirstMartianfellinlove,hebeganmanufacturingtelescopesfor allhisbrotherMartians.Very
quicklytheyallcameoutoftheirdepressions.TheytoobegantofeellovefortheVenusians.Theystarted
tocareabouttheVenusiansasmuchasthemselves.
The strange and beautiful Venusians were a mysterious attraction to the Martians. Their differences
especially attracted theMartiansWhere theMartianswere hard, the Venusians weresoft. Where the
Martians wereangular, theVenusianswereround. WheretheMartians werecool, theVenusianswere
warm.Inamagicalandperfectwaytheirdifferencesseemedtocomplementeachother.
InanunspokenlanguagetheVenusianscommunicatedloudandclear:"Weneedyou.Yourpowerand
strength can bring us great fulfillfilling a void deep within our being. Together we could find great
happiness."ThisinvitationmotivatedandempoweredtheMartians.