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When the Martians and Venusians first got together, they encountered many of the problems with
relationshipswehavetoday.Becausetheyrecognizedthatthey weredifferent,they wereabletosolve
theseproblems.Oneofthesecretsoftheirsuccesswasgoodcommunication.

Ironically,theycommunicatedwellbecausetheyspokedifferentlanguages.Whentheyhadproblems,they
wouldjustgotoatranslatorforassistance.EveryoneknewthatpeoplefromMarsandpeoplefromVenus
spokedifferentlanguages,sowhentherewasaconflicttheydidn'tstartjudgingorfightingbutinstead
pulledouttheirphrasedictionariestounderstandeachothermorefully.Ifthatdidn'tworktheywenttoa
translatorforhelp.

You seetheMartianand Venusian languages hadthesamewords, buttheway they wereusedgave
different meanings. Their expressions were similar, but they had different connotations or emotional
emphasis. Misinterpreting each otherwasveryeasy.So whencommunicationproblemsemerged, they
assumeditwasjustoneofthoseexpectedmisunderstandingsandthatwithalittleassistancetheywould
surelyunderstandeachother.Theyexperiencedatrustandacceptancethatwerarelyexperiencetoday.

EXPRESSINGFEELINGSVERSUSEXPRESSINGINFORMATION.........................................................

Eventodaywestillneedtranslators.Menandwomenseldommeanthesamethingsevenwhentheyuse
thesamewords.Forexample,whenawomansays"Ifeellikeyouneverlisten,"shedoesnotexpectthe
wordnevertobetakenliterally.Usingthewordneverisjustawayofexpressingthefrustrationsheis
feelingatthemoment.Itisnottobetakenasifitwerefactualinformation.

Tofullyexpresstheirfeelings,womenassumepoeticlicenseandusevarioussuperlatives,metaphors,and
generalizations.Menmistakenlytaketheseexpressionsliterally.Becausetheymisunderstandtheintended
meaning,theycommonly reactinanunsupportivemanner. Inthefollowingcharttencomplaints easily
misinterpretedarefisted,aswellashowamanmightrespondunsupportively.

TENCOMMONCOMPLAINTSTHATAREEASILYMISINTERPRETED

Womensaythingslikethis Menrespondlikethis

"Wenevergoout." "That'snottrue.Wewentoutlastweek."

"Everyoneignoresme." "I'msuresomepeoplenoticeyou."

"Iamsotired,Ican'tdoanything.” "That'sridiculous.Youarenother."