heloseshisdesire,power,andpassion;hebecomespassiveoroverlydependent.
Hemaybeafraidtobealoneortogointohiscave.Hemaythinkhedoesn'tlikebeingalonebecausedeep
insideheisafraidoflosinglove.Hehasalreadyexperiencedinchildhoodhismotherrejectinghisfatheror
directlyrejectinghim.
Whilesomemendon'tknowhowtopullaway,othersdon'tknowhowtogetclose.Themachomanhasno
problempullingaway.Hejustcan'tcomebackandopenup.Deepinsidehemaybeafraidheisunworthy
oflove.Heisafraidofbeingcloseandcaringalot.Hedoesnothaveapictureofhowwelcomedhewould
be if he got closer. Both the sensitive male and the macho male are missing a positive picture or
experienceoftheirnaturalintimacycycle.
Understandingthismaleintimacycycleisjustasimportantformenasitisforwomen. Somemenfeel
guiltyneedingtospendtimeintheircavesortheymaygetconfusedwhentheystarttopullawayandthen
laterspringback.They maymistakenlythinksomethingiswrong,withthem.Itissuchareliefforboth
menandwomentounderstandthesesecretsaboutmen.
WISEMENANDWOMEN................................................................................................................
Mengenerallydon'trealizehowtheirsuddenlypullingawayandthenlaterreturningaffectswomen.With
thisnewinsightabouthowwomenareaffectedbyhisintimacycycle,amancanrecognizetheimportance
ofsincerelylisteningwhenawomanspeaks.Heunderstandsandrespectsherneedtobereassuredthat
heisinterestedinherandhedoescare.Wheneverheisnotneedingtopullaway,thewisemantakesthe
timetoinitiateconversationbyaskinghisfemalepartnerhowsheisfeeling.
Hegrowstounderstandhisowncyclesandreassuresherwhenhepullsawaythathewillbeback. He
mightsay "I needsometime to be aloneand then we willhave somespecial timetogether with no
distractions."Orifhestartstopullawaywhilesheistalkinghemightsay"Ineedsometimetothinkabout
thisandthenwecantalkagain."
Whenhereturnstotalk,shemightprobehimtounderstandwhyheleft.Ifhe'snotsure,whichismany
timesthecase,hemightsay "I'm notsure.Ijustneededsometimeto myself.Butlet'scontinueour
conversation."
Heismoreawarethatsheneedstobeheardandheneedstolistenmorewhenheisnotpullingaway.In
addition,heknowsthatlisteninghelpshimtobecomeawareofwhathewantstoshareinaconversation.
Toinitiateaconversationthewisewomanlearnsnottodemandthatamantalk butasksthathetruly
listentoher.Asheremphasischanges,thepressureonhimisreleased.Shelearnstoopenupandshare
herfeelingswithoutdemandingthathedothesame.