himfromcomingbackandopeninguptoher:
PUNISHINGBEHAVIORS
I.Physical
Whenhebeginsto desireheragainsherejectshim. Shepushesaway hisphysicalaffection. Shemay
rejecthimsexuallyShedoesn'tallowhimtotouchherorbeclose.Shemayhithimorbreakthingsinorder
toshowherdispleasure.
Whenamanis punishedforpullingaway,hecanbecomeafraidofever doing itagain.Thisfearmay
preventhimfrompullingawayinthefuture.Hisnaturalcycleisthenbroken.Itmayalsocreateananger
thatblockshimfromfeelinghisdesireforintimacy.Hemaynotcomebackwhenhehaspulledaway.
2 .Emotional
Whenhereturns,sheisunhappyandsheblameshim.Shedoesnotforgivehimforneglectingher.There
isnothinghecandotopleaseherormakeherhappy.Hefeelsincapableoffulfillingherandgivesup.
When hereturns, sheexpressesher disapprovalthrough words, tone ofvoice, andby looking ather
partnerinacertainwoundedway.
3 .Mental
Whenhereturns,sherefusestoopenupandshareherfeelings.Shebecomescoldandresentshimfornot
openingupandtalking.
Shestopstrustingthathereallycaresandpunisheshimbynotgivinghimachancetolistenandbethe
"good"guy.Whenhehappilyreturnstoher,heisinthedoghouse.
Whenamanfeelspunishedforpullingaway,hecanbecomeafraidoflosingherloveifhepullsaway.He
beginstofeelunworthyofherloveifhepullsaway.Hemaybecomeafraidtoreachoutforherloveagain
becausehefeels unworthy;heassumeshe willbe rejected. This fearof rejectionprevents him from
comingbackfromhisjourneyintothecave.
HOWAMAN'SPASTMAYAFFECTHISINTIMACYCYCLE.................................................................
Thisnaturalcycleinamanmayalreadybeobstructedfromhischildhood.Hemaybeafraidtopullaway
becausehewitnessedhismother'sdisapprovalofhisfather'semotionaldistancing.Suchamanmaynot
evenknowthatheneedstopullaway.Hemayunconsciouslycreateargumentstojustifypullingaway.
Thiskindofmannaturallydevelopsmoreofhisfemininesidebutattheexpenseofsuppressingsomeof
hismasculinepower.HHHHeeeeiiiissssaaaasssseeeennnnssssiiiittttiiiivvvveeeemmmmaaaannnn....HHHHeeeettttrrrriiiieeeesssshhhhaaaarrrrddddttttoooopppplllleeeeaaaasssseeeeaaaannnnddddbbbbeeeelllloooovvvviiiinnnnggggbbbbuuuuttttlllloooosssseeeessssppppaaaarrrrtttt
ooooffffhhhhiiiissssmmmmaaaassssccccuuuulllliiiinnnneeeesssseeeellllffffiiiinnnntttthhhheeeepppprrrroooocccceeeessssssss....Hefeelsguiltypullingaway.Withoutknowingwhathashappened