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Awomanislikeawave.Whenshefeelslovedherself-esteemrisesandfallsinawavemotion.Whenshe
is feeling really good, she willreacha peak, butthensuddenly her moodmay changeandher wave
crashesdown.Thiscrashistemporary.Aftershereachesbottomsuddenlyhermoodwillshiftandshewill
againfeelgoodaboutherself.Automaticallyherwavebeginstorisebackup.

Whenawoman'swaverisesshefeelsshehasanabundanceoflovetogive,butwhenitfallsshefeelsher
inneremptinessandneedstobefilledupwithlove. Thistimeofbottomingoutisatimeforemotional
housecleaning.

Ifshehassuppressedanynegativefeelingsordeniedherselfinordertobemorelovingontheupswingof
herwave,thenonthedownswingshebeginstoexperiencethesenegativefeelingsandunfulfilledneeds.
Duringthisdowntimesheespeciallyneedstotalkaboutproblemsandbeheardandunderstood.

Mywife,Bonnie,saysthisexperienceof"goingdown"islikegoingdownintoadarkwell.Whenawomen
goesintoher"well"sheisconsciouslysinkingintoherunconsciousself,intodarknessanddiffusedfeeling.
Shemaysuddenlyexperienceahostofunexplainedemotionsandvaguefeelings.Shemayfeelhopeless,
thinkingsheisallaloneorunsupported.Butsoonaftershereachesthebottom,ifshefeelslovedand
supported, she willautomatically startto feelbetter. Assuddenly as she may have crashed, she will
automaticallyriseupandagainradiateloveinherrelationships.

AAAAwwwwoooommmmaaaannnn''''ssssaaaabbbbiiiilllliiiittttyyyyttttooooggggiiiivvvveeeeaaaannnnddddrrrreeeecccceeeeiiiivvvveeeelllloooovvvveeeeiiiinnnnhhhheeeerrrrrrrreeeellllaaaattttiiiioooonnnnsssshhhhiiiippppssssiiiissssggggeeeennnneeeerrrraaaallllllllyyyyaaaarrrreeeefffflllleeeeccccttttiiiioooonnnnooooffffhhhhoooowwww
sssshhhheeeeiiiissssffffeeeeeeeelllliiiinnnnggggaaaabbbboooouuuutttthhhheeeerrrrsssseeeellllffff....Whensheisnotfeelingasgood aboutherself,sheisunabletobeas
accepting andappreciativeof herpartner.Ather down times, shetendsto beoverwhelmedor more
emotionallyreactive.Whenherwavehitsbottomsheismorevulnerableandneedsmorelove.Itiscrucial
that her partner understand what she needs at these times, otherwise he may make unreasonable
demands.

HOWMENREACTTOTHEWAVE...................................................................................................

Whenamanlovesawomanshebeginstoshinewithloveandfulfillment.Mostmennaivelyexpectthat
shinetolastforever.Buttoexpectherlovingnaturetobeconstantislikeexpectingtheweatherneverto
changeandthesuntoshineallthetime.Lifeisfilledwithrhythms_-dayandnight,hotandcold,summer
andwinter,springandfall,cloudyandclear.Likewiseinarelationship,menandwomenhavetheirown
rhythmsandcycles.Menpullback andthengetclose,whilewomenriseandfallintheirabilitytolove
themselvesandothers.