To Get Good Answers You Need Good Questions 145
in a corner with questions. PowerPhrase questions to regain con-
trol of a conversation are:
Why do you ask that?Are you asking me if...?What specifically do you want to know about...?How would YOU respond to that question?Pick your goal—then pick your PowerPhrases.PowerPhrase Questions Say What You
Mean
How do you say something you DON’T mean with questions?
Is there such a thing as an insincere question?
You can ask questions you don’t want answers to. You can
ask questions so they think you are interested in them, when
you are only interested in you. You can ask questions to make
them jump through hoops. You can ask questions that attempt
to get someone else to say something so you don’t have to.
If your questions have a self-serving hidden agenda and if
you are being manipulative, you are not saying what you mean.
To manipulate means “to play upon or control by artful, unfair,
or insidious means.” (Remember that definition. Next time
someone backs you into corner say, “Hey—You’re playing upon
me by artful, unfair, or insidious means!”)
The key part of the definition is in the word “insidious.”
Many skillful communicators say things for undisclosed pur-