How to Use Power Phrases

Poison Phrases 29

the message aren’t the only kind of Negative Poison Phrases you
need to watch out for. Negative Poison Phrases also can be
aggressive. For example, watch out for

don’t

no

you can’t

When you say the word “don’t,” others hear the words that
follow, the ones that tell them what you don’t want and that’s
what gets reinforced. If you tell people,

Don’t come late.

they will hear “come late.” They will respond better if you say,

I need you to be on time.

The word “no” can be a PowerPhrase, but it is often used
as a Poison Phrase. I saw a National Car Rental sign that said,

No Reservation, No Car.

Reservations Required.

sounds much friendlier.
When I was dropping off a car, a car rental attendant said,

You can’t leave the car here!

I felt scolded. I would have been happier had she said,

Please park over there.