Secret #6: There Is Power in Nice 73
His story would probably have been something like
My mom doesn’t respect me and just wants to use me to fix
her computer.A neutral story would be
We had different expectations about David’s role in fix-
ing my computer and it was creating tension.The neutral story says what you mean without blame.
Another way of being mean is to use sideswipes, hit and run
tactics, mixed messages, and sarcasm. These tactics can be so
hard to see! One woman looked absolutely innocent when she
told me about how she was offended by the backstabbing at
meetings. So she wrote down the meeting minutes verbatim—
including every dig, sideswipe, and insult. “Now everyone is
mad at me!” she said. “I was just trying to get them to stop!”
Don’t kid yourself! I don’t care if you fully believe they deserve
it, these tactics have no place.
Avoid hit and run tactics, like saying,
Late again?and then walking off.
Resist the temptation to say,
I’m surprised you noticed my attendance since you’re hardly
ever here.Refrain from saying,