The Word That Changed
Everything
The word that changed everything, of course, is no. I’d been
saying yes and yes and yes, indiscriminately, haphazardly,
resentfully for years. And I realized all at once that I’d spent
all my yeses, and in order to find peace and health in my
life, I needed to learn to say no.
People love it when you say yes, and they get used to it
—they start to figure out who the people are who will
always say yes, always come through, always make it
happen.
If you are one of these people, it does cause a little
freakout when you begin saying no. People are not
generally down with this right away. That’s okay.
You may know that yes is an important word for me.
Maybe you’ve seen my yes sweatshirt, my yes earrings, my
yes tote bag, my yes tattoo. I’m not kidding about any of
those things. Yes matters to me on a deep level—saying a
broad and brave yes to this beautiful world, to love and
challenge and hard laughter and dancing and trying and
failing. Yes is totally my jam.
But you can’t have yes without no. Another way to say