Being Mortal

cared for. She had friends and familiar surroundings. Carson wanted him just to order some physical therapy. “Shedoesn’tneedthat ...

hertolive.Butyou’regoingwithme,becauseyoucould bethiswaynextyear.’”Sofar,thathasseemedenoughto settle the matter. Another exampl ...

walked—and was mentally delayed, as well. In adulthood,hecouldhandlebasicaspectsofhislife,but he needed some degree of structure ...

THERE ARE PEOPLE in the world who change imaginations.Youcanfindtheminthemostunexpected places. And right now, in the seemingly ...

There are different concepts of autonomy. One is autonomy as free action—living completely independently,freeofcoercionandlimita ...

Allweaskistobeallowedtoremainthewritersofour ownstory.Thatstoryiseverchanging.Overthecourse ofourlives,wemayencounterunimaginabl ...

was fundamental to him. He thought he’d go crazy without it. “MywifeusedtosayIwasaloner,butI’mnot.Ijustlike mytimealone,”hetoldm ...

itto be, ashe put it,“a sheep in wolf’sclothing.” It neededtolooktothegovernmentlikeanursinghome,in ordertoqualifyforpublicnursi ...

ItwasthelookoftheplacethatattractedLou—therewas nothingdispiritinglyinstitutionalaboutit.ButwhenLou movedin,thewayoflifebecamewh ...

and Thursday afternoons, he’d go down to the coffee shopandplaycribbagewith hisfriendDave,whostill visitedhim.Plushe’dtaughttheg ...

He’deatlunchatnoonaroundthebigdiningtablewith therestofthehouse.Intheafternoon,ifhedidn’thavea cardgameorsomeotherplan,he’dusual ...

“I have moments when Iwould say I think it’s time, maybeoneofthedayswhenIwasatalowpoint,”he said.“Enoughisenough,youknow?Iwouldb ...

Theterrorofsicknessandoldageisnotmerelytheterror ofthelossesoneisforcedtoendurebutalsotheterrorof theisolation.Aspeoplebecomeawa ...

6 •Letting Go BeforeI beganto thinkabout what awaits my older patients—people very much like Lou Sanders and the others—I’dnever ...

that—butSarawasstunned.Hermother,whohadlosther best friend to lung cancer, began crying. Thedoctorswantedtostarttreatmentrightaw ...

whichtargetsagenemutationcommonlyfoundinlung cancers of female nonsmokers; 85 percent of them respondtothedrug,and,asMarcouxsaid ...

bathroom in mid-discussion with a sudden bout of diarrhea. Marcoux recommended a different, more standard chemotherapy, with two ...

thehallwayfromtheparkinggaragetoMarcoux’soffice; Rich had to push her in a wheelchair. Afew days beforeThanksgiving, she had ano ...

canceristreated,andthen,ifallgoeswell,thesecosts taperoff.A 2011 study,forinstance,foundthatmedical spendingfora breastcancer pa ...

after a long illness, with a feeding tube and a tracheostomy,andshehadmentionedthatshedidn’twant todiethatway.Butherchildrencoul ...